Biophysical Society Bulletin | November 2022

Career Development

HowtoDealwithRelationships inandaround theLab Many when hearing the word “rela tionship” imagine physically and/or emotionally close interactions. I would advocate for the definition to be much So, how should one approach different kinds of relationships? Here are some suggestions:

1. Define the relationship and its boundary by the type of interaction and the roles of the participants with respect to that function (for example, a student receiving mentor ship for their PhD). 2. Clear and honest communication is the key. Expansion of the type of interactions or any changes to them needs understanding and agreement, if not explicit permission from both sides. 3. Generally, relationships are between two people. Keep in mind that the gossip and advice of others should not enter the interaction of the two and there should be a choice to define the interaction or who to engage with in the first place. Two people who have a clash of personal ities may still work together in a professional way, even if it means making some adjustments. 4. Do not expect to be able to change people. 5. Rationally, relationships can be seen as transactional. Both parties should directly or indirectly benefit from the interaction. Yet, remember most transactions also involve some negotiation and compromise. 6. Following the rules provided by one’s employer is critical to avoid situations that create conflicts of interest. 7. Be ethical—always! As all relationships go, they eventually end or transform. Maintain a level of trust and honesty. 8. Be kind and treat others like you want to be treated. 9. Be civil (and calm). Life is short and one can’t be friends with everybody. If there is a conflict, make a plan for dealing with it and walk away when you must. Of course, in extreme cases, there are rules that govern our communities and ultimately laws that society enforces. Report bad behavior to the proper authorities within your institution, or outside when necessary. To sum up: avoidance and hope are often not good long-term strategies. Relationships come in many different forms and learning how to manage each requires intentional efforts. Scientists who enjoy their own company above all else may see relationships and human interactions as rather messy and risky, but we all must do our best to foster positive relationship with those around us. — Molly Cule

broader but, in any case, common sense guidelines should apply when interacting with colleauges, coworkers, and others. However, we are all human and “common sense” is sometimes in exact—hence, the reason for this piece.

Researchers spend the great majority of their waking lives in the lab, sometimes in cramped space as part of a larg er research group. At the same time, some scientists have chosen to work with computers, molecules, mice, etc. to be away from the messy irrationality of having to deal with other people. Yet, even the most hardened researcher knows that we do not live in isolation. One realization came to me as a gift from a senior academ ic when he started his lab. When asked, “What is the most important thing to know when running a research group?,” the answer was: “Appreciate that everyone is different; don’t assume they think like you or will act like you.” This is espe cially true for lab environments—typically a mix of people with different rank, from diverse cultures, and with varied experiences. So, what defines relationships? Broadly, any two people who interact even in the briefest way can be regarded as being in a relationship. The “roles” of the respective participants affects the type ofrelationship and manner of interaction that can be expected. However, at any given time people don’t tend to function in a single role with explicitly prescribed behaviors. Most wear many “hats” in that they have several, sometimes intersecting or even conflicting roles in their private as well as professional lives. For example, I know that as a principal investigator, lab social life is an important part of the work ing atmosphere and I have hosted parties, annual picnics at different venues, and birthdays in the departmental coffee room. Arrivals and departures to the lab are recognized as are important work events (key papers, graduations, etc.). So boundaries between co-workers may seem a bit more fluid, but one thing which the great majority in a professional environment understand is the strong adherence to the pre scribed roles (graduate student, bench mate, advisor, etc.) and acceptable manners of interactions. These roles essentially encompass what we understand by living in a society or being part of a community even though some of the rules that come with them may be unwritten.

November 2022

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